Got along without you before I met you couldn't get along without you now.

Thank you so much to my amazing friend Laura. Today Laura dropped what she was doing to help me re-work my blog and she made me the beautiful header! You are such an amazing friend and I love you!

I have had so many wonderful times with you and you mean so much to me, I am so blessed to have you in my life. I could definitely NOT get along without you!

Everyone can read Laura's incredible blog and check out her new handsome puppers at http://uptowngrace.blogspot.com/

Cassie R.

To Pumice or not to pumice?

Around my house funny things are always going on I feel like my husband and myself are constantly laughing at each other, and that is a wonderful blessing. So today I thought I'd share one of my favorite beauty secrets and a funny anecdote to go along with.

First the funny: In May my husband broke out the flip flops, his beloved rainbows. I have had mine for years. I venture to say its one thing i could not live without them. Well my darling says to me me "my feet are really nasty, like cracky and stuff." Anyone who knows me knows I don't like feet, i hate them. So i told him he could go get a pedicure and they would fix it or I could buy a new pumice stone and he could work on them gradually at home. Pat opted for the at home option so I bought a pumice stone. I even bought a fancy two sided one, one side course for feet and one side soft for hands, elbows, and others skin spots. I told Pat I bought it, I put it in the shower, and I explained to him how to use it. "Wait until your feet get a little soft from the water, and then rub the course side on the bottom of your feet. It will take off the dead skin."
The next afternoon I got the funniest phone call in which my husband said this " Are you sure that thing you bought is OK? My feet hurt so bad I can barely walk on them, I think I may even be bleeding a little bit!" I surely didn't know what to say I had used the pumice by now and my foot situation was A OK! I asked Pat if he waited for the water to make them soft to which he replied. "Yes I waited, that's why my shower was so long this morning. I waited like 5 min until my feet were sooth then I pumiced each foot for like 10 min." BAHAHAHA He had literally pumiced all the skin off the bottom of his feet. And the funny thing is i can really see him in the shower going to town on his feet. How silly. Needless to say now Pat refuses to use the pumice and he doesn't like that every time I think about it I laugh out loud! A grown man literally pumiced all the skin off his feet!
Ok enough picking on Pat now for the beauty tip:
The other side of the pumice stone, the fine side that is to be used on skin is a wonderful exfoliator. About every third time I shave my legs I lather up my legs with my dove bar and then use the pumice stone to exfoliate. I rub it against the hair all up and down my legs then I shave. My legs have never been so smooth, my razor rash has almost completely gone away, and I have been able to cut down the number of leg shaves in a week! It really stays smoother longer. I would how ever be weary to buy the right pumice stone. The one I bought was from Walmart it was green on one side and white on the other (the white side is the skin side). Its a wonderful summer short season beauty tip!
Disclaimer: Pumice at your own risk! It can be dangerous!

Cassie R.

A very fine line

Just a quick update: Early this morning Patrick and I headed to the doctor, this is the normal day we get a follicle scan to see how many follicles I have developed. Last month was a major disappointment, I had only developed one follicle... not this month. I gasped with horror as the Ultra-sound technician swirled the wand around and it looked my ovaries have been replaced with a group of balloons! I had 2 follicles over the size of 18, 10 over 16, and 4 more over 15. The ones over 18 will definitely release an egg and the ones over 15 could potentially release one. Needless to say I am a little freaked... So wish us luck and pray for us as we start the next phase. Tonight is the HCG injection (big honking needle in my back) and then Friday morning we are being inseminated again! We have a higher risk of multiples with this cycle, but we'll be so happy with anything! Which brings me to my next point...
Through out this journey there have been several time where I felt it was awkward to talk about infertility. I think that some people don't know what to say to me, some people might be embarrassed, and then there is the select few who doesn't care and will say whatever they want no feelings spared. Well I am here to set the record straight, I cant speak for every infertile out there but I can speak for myself!

Things you should avoid saying to someone who is having problems conceiving:
1. "You're one of those people who is never going to get pregnant because that's all you think about." NOT KIDDING an actual really good friend said this to me. This is unacceptable.
2. "How are you feeling (head nod and drawn out)?" This question does get asked in regards to the medication I'm injecting or the hormones, but always at the end of the cycle when the person asking wants to know if it has worked. Actually I'm feeling fine because once again I'm NOT pregnant! If you wanna ask someone if they are pregnant, at least in my case just come out and ask.
3. "You'll have a baby when God thinks you're ready." This one did not irk me until recently. I believe in his perfect timing and I do not question that a baby is a blessing from God, but you cannot tell me that the girls on Teen Mom were more "ready" to be a mother than me. Do get me wrong I know that Heavenly Father will give me a baby, and I have come to terms with the fact that this will not happen in my timing. The problem I have lies in the word "ready". Rather or not you know it by saying this I feel attacked, that somehow I could be doing something else to be more "ready" or that I'm not being a good enough Christian. If you think all these things haven't crossed my mind then your wrong, its all that goes through my mind.
4. "You wanna know how to get pregnant??? Stop Trying" If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that... I could pay for my IVF! Anyone who has taken any sort of fertility medication knows that it is not always that easy. It is a constant thought and strain on you. Everyday is something else, an injection, an ultrasound, blood work, insemination and in order to keep it all straight you must think about it sometimes. And its true everybody has a cousin, a friend, or a co-worker who "tried for years and then when they quit trying BOOM just like magic they were pregnant" Well I pray that I could be that lucky, however in order for me to ovulate I must take medication which starts the circle all over again.

I know that was a really bitter rant, but sometimes people say the wrong things. People also say the right things, or nothing at all. I understand its a very fine line an most people do not feel comfortable speaking about it. All I am asking is that people put a little thought into what they're saying.
I recently had a friend who I haven't spoken with in years write me an amazing message on facebook and it was the most thoughtful thing that anyone has said to me since I started this journey. I really wanted to share it because I think if anyone reading this blog knows anyone going through this process you should tell them this-

"Hey Cassie! I was just looking around facebook, come up on your page and found your blog! As I was reading I cried and laughed with you! You have made me even more grateful for my little lady. I am so sorry that having a baby is so difficult for you and your husband, but I love the way you all have grown with each other through the process. I have no idea what you are going through, but I do know that you are going to make one of the best moms there ever will be, you already are a mom at heart, putting yourself through everything you are going through! "

I cant tell you how much this meant to me. It was an amazing gift of words and the perfect thing to say to someone dealing with infertility! Every time I read it I tear up. Not everyone facing infertility is the same, but I feel like having kind words and thoughts is way better than any advise. I ask that you please lift Pat and I up in your prayers this month. We are really hoping for a miracle!

Cassie R.

A whole month later

So sorry I haven't been blogging I cannot believe that it has been a whole month. Pat and I have had sooooo much going on, our lives are so busy. Here's whats been going on...

1. Right when we got home from vacation we started another cycle of injections. We did the same thing as the previous injection cycle, 5 days of femara and 5 injections of follistim followed by an ultrasound an HCG injection and IUI. This month we were as always really really hopeful, I kept myself super super busy and tried not to think about it too much (like that's possible). Well I am really disappointed to say that it didn't work. We kind of had a small glitch, when we went for out ultrasound around the middle of our cycle I only had one mature developed follicle. Well the last cycle I had almost 5 and this cycle 1! NO GOOD! I was super disappointed because here we are paying a lot of money and investing a lot of emotion into the process and we only had one follicle, and we had better results taking clomid (aprox $16) than injections ($$$$$). I was so frustrated, but remaining positive because technically all you need is one follicle that's what most normal women have every month, however this past month was another disappointment.

2. The day after our IUI we went to Louisville for my mother's boyfriend, Kevin's birthday. We had a wonderful weekend filled with swimming, cooking out, kayaking, fishing, and visiting. I had such an amazing time and I was really keeping my mind off of our situation. While we were at my mom's house Kevin's grandchildren came over for a cookout and swim. Pat and I had such an amazing time with these children. They are Jenna 7, and Chase 8. They are two wonderful loving kids who maybe haven't had the most stable home life so far. And I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing that Pat and I don't have many children in our life so we don't have any interaction at all with kids, but after that day spent swimming and fishing with those kids who weren't even ours both mine and Pats hearts were so full. Its days like that spent with children that re-energizes us in this process to become parents, it reminds us really why were doing this.

3. Upon coming home from Louisville I decided I wanted to re-do my guest bathroom. I wanted to make it more a part of the house. When we moved in we painted the entire house in 3 days and the guest bathroom just got the left over paint from the office. I was never entirely thrilled with it, it has never been my favorite so with a little inspiration from the DIY network and magazine, it went from

Really boring! This room was a dark beige color which i love in the office but for this room which has no natural light it was way to dark. The light fixture matched the wall color so you couldn't see it at all and it was just blah. With a little research I added the molding treatment to the wall, thanks to Amy Mathews from the DIY network, i felt inspired! I Then painted it a hideous color (another post to follow), then a gray green! After a week of work, mostly painting I love it!

4. The Hubs and I installed crown molding in all of the rooms of our house. It took forever, cutting, nailing, patching, sanding, taping, painting, and caulking, and caulking again because the first time I did it I used clear caulk which dried clear and did nothing! Also we paint the tray ceiling and installed crown up there, It took forever and we had to drop cloth everything in our room, but it turned out beautifully!

5. After completing the crown molding I took off for Louisville to stay the night with my dad and his girlfriend, Dee. I stayed at their condo for the night so the next morning I could pick up my friend Laura from the airport! I was so lucky because all of my best friends came to see me! Laura flew in from Charlotte, Alli (who is home from Kuwait) came from Columbus, Kim came from Lexington, and Katherine came from Indianapolis. POOR PAT! Everyone stayed in our tiny house but it was sooo fun! I had an amazing time being surrounded by my supportive and loving friends. On Saturday we headed about an hour South to Owensboro and stayed the night with Lindsey in her old/new BEAUTIFUL home! It was such a blast being with everyone! Then Sunday night I took Laura back to the airport :( and then headed back to Jasper.

6. Monday morning bright and early I headed down through Owensboro again to pick up my cousin Little Laura. Little Laura stayed with us all week and we went fishing, and exploring, and to the movies! Ill write more about that later. We also had sooo much fun!

7. Which brings me to now. Because I only had one follicle last time my doctors let me do another cycle right away, without taking a break. So I am all swollen (I look about 4 months pregnant) and hormonal, but so excited. The doctors have up-ed my dose which has resulted in more cramps, back pain, dizziness, and crying, but if there's anything Ive learned in the past month being around children it is that I will do anything to become a mom, ANYTHING!

I promise to blog more this month...it is my mission. We have so many BIG things happening ill keep you posted! Until then God Bless!

Cassie R.